Flirt author Laurell K Hamilton review ✓ 103


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Flirt author Laurell K. Hamilton review ✓ 103 ☆ When Anita Blake meets with prospective client Tony Bennington who is desperate to have her reanimate his recently deceased wife she is full of sympathy for his loss Anita knows something about love and she knows everything there is to know about lossBut what she also knows though ToWhen Anita Blake meets with prospective client Tony Bennington who is desperate to have her reanimate his recently deceased wife she is full of sympathy for his loss Anita knows something. Why did I do this to myself Why return to Anita Blake when all she does is annoy and frustrate me Because I am a foolBut as foolish as I am at least I didn't write a novel in which all the male characters tell Anita how hot and desirable and wonderful she is for an entire chapter Is there a plot Sure but it's solved in about two minutes Truthfully there are so many problems with this story that it’s hard to know what to complain about most The pages upon pages of descriptions of each man’s hair eyes muscles and dreadful clothing choices The chapter in which nothing happens except Anita and her waiter flirting with each other The way the reader is repeatedly reminded that every single other female character is stupider meaner and less pretty than Anita How every single time Anita does anything all the male characters comment on how amazing and astounding it is How Anita Blake uses magic to take away someone’s free will for the rest of his life And then has sex with him And then has a long discussion with her other boyfriends about whether she should “keep” him while the poor dude listens and weeps And then all her boyfriends comfort her about how hard it must have been on her Or ooh how ‘bout how we’re supposed to think Anita is oh so moral because she refuses to raise zombies that someone wants to have sex with but then she raises zombies and forces them to kill and eat people Including their own family members This series better end with someone chopping her head off because at this point Anita Blake is actively evil

Flirt author Laurell K. HamiltWhen Anita Blake meets with prospective client Tony Bennington who is desperate to have her reanimate his recently deceased wife she is full of sympathy for his loss Anita knows something. Why did I do this to myself Why return to Anita Blake when all she does is annoy and frustrate me Because I am a foolBut as foolish as I am at least I didn't write a novel in which all the male characters tell Anita how hot and desirable and wonderful she is for an entire chapter Is there a plot Sure but it's solved in about two minutes Truthfully there are so many problems with this story that it’s hard to know what to complain about most The pages upon pages of descriptions of each man’s hair eyes muscles and dreadful clothing choices The chapter in which nothing happens except Anita and her waiter flirting with each other The way the reader is repeatedly reminded that every single other female character is stupider meaner and less pretty than Anita How every single time Anita does anything all the male characters comment on how amazing and astounding it is How Anita Blake uses magic to take away someone’s free will for the rest of his life And then has sex with him And then has a long discussion with her other boyfriends about whether she should “keep” him while the poor dude listens and weeps And then all her boyfriends comfort her about how hard it must have been on her Or ooh how ‘bout how we’re supposed to think Anita is oh so moral because she refuses to raise zombies that someone wants to have sex with but then she raises zombies and forces them to kill and eat people Including their own family members This series better end with someone chopping her head off because at this point Anita Blake is actively evil

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Flirt author Laurell K. Hamilton ¼ R isn't the miracle he thinks he needs The creature that Anita could coerce to step out of the late Mrs Bennington's grave would not be the lovely Mrs BenningtonNot really And not for lon. It's not to say that I hated this book it was along the lines of what was the point of it all Anita has yet another adoring gorgeous man hanging off her arms and we've established yet again that her powers are awesome even without her men What happened to the good old days of blood and gore read Ý eBook or Kindle ePUB Î Laurell K. Hamilton

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Laurell K. Hamilton Î 3 download About love and she knows everything there is to know about lossBut what she also knows though Tony Bennington seems unwilling to be convinced is that the thing she can do as a necromance. This message brought to you by the word Flirt Flirt FlirtAnita Blake meets with Tony Bennington who wants her to bring back his exploded wife as a human life zombie we find this out after they argue and posture for a while SOP Anita says no smoochie smooes with her stripper boyfriendslovers that pop into the office in indecent sportsware because they wanted to give Mary the receptionist a showTime to pop into the restaurant for a nice whinging session about how everyone thought Anita was ugly as a child I am in TEARS Anita that you a petite raven haired chocolate brown eyed curvy woman was considered uglyOh yeah the word of today is FLIRT Nathaniel likes to FLIRT with the waiter The waiter FLIRTs back Anita tries her hand at FLIRTing She's not used to FLIRTing because she only FLIRTs if she wants a guy not just to FLIRT for the sake of FLIRTingThe next day Anita Blake meets with Natalie Zell who wants her to bring back her dead husband so she can go axe murderer on him Copypaste previous conversation replace all instances of he with she and make the woman look like a nutzo Also include how Natalie wants babies because we know that ALL WIMMEN WANT DA BABIES SOP Anita says no Natalie huffs offLunch time Anita goes to lunch and sees the SAME WAITER as yesterday GO FIGURE I mean it's like he WORKS at this place or something Funny thing he's FLIRTing with Anita Anita FLIRTs back It feels weird to FLIRT for FLIRTing sake Only it seems the waiter isn't just FLIRTing for FLIRTing's sake he actually wants to hook up Anita is perplexed; she doesn't have a clue how to turn a guy down since she never actually has hence the Anita Blake Walking Sausages Harem So she naturally keeps FLIRTingTwo guys appear from one end of the restaurant and basically kidnap her while she is FLIRTing They pile her into an SUV and take her to their boss a person that Anita earlier turned down Now she MUST raise that zombie else her Walking Sausages WILL DIE And since Walking Sausages can't defend themselves even though they are ALL WEREANIMALS Anita is in a panicAnita FLIRTs with Nicky a werelion who is working for the Big Boss It isn't long before they discover go figure Anita's lioness is in heat Three guesses what happens and the first two don't countAfter doing the naughty we have zombie raising fight scene cut to the final paragraph or two wrap up and then THE ENDShock of all shocks I actually didn't half mind this book Also shocking LKH doesn't change in the slightest Tour some of the best LKHism with me10 LKHisms No Anita Blake Book Could Be Without1 Get a Room LKH introduces the Three Walking Sausages with masturbatory descriptions that makes me cringe and want desperately to be in another galaxy and cleanse my brain out with Chlorox And then we proceed to have Anita and the Three Walking Sausages do the cuddle touchy feely thing in a restaurant and thus become one of Those People Dude with the watch I feel ya I do2 Relationship Uncertainty Even though Anita has been in dating relationships since Book 2 or 3 even earlier with her ex fiance and even though Anita has been dating multiple guys since about 3 or 4 she still has no f#ing clue how to go about having a relationshipSo if your guy friend and sometimes lover feels left out when you're cuddling your boyfriends at lunch do you owe him a cuddle If you have to askjust sayin' 3 Misogyny Because we all know that every woman other than Anita A doesn't work hard B is a crazy psycho btch C is a weak wimp and D will use her feminine wiles to get out of shtI'm trying to get these women to work harder than they're used to and they're trying to flirt in part to get out of the hard parts Because female strippers doing things than just taking off their clothes Being actual dancers and taking PRIDE in challenges PISH never happenedBeing the girl I couldn't trust the silent communication I had to say something Girls like to talk talk talk talk talk and never shut up doncha knowWhen your babies are at stake you want a man that can defend them Momma Bears What is that A sex position 4 Whinging and Wangst Wangst and Whinging Oh POOR ANITAI was told all my childhood that I wasn't pretty Try being 100 pounds overweight with a bad homedone haircut in your mother's old clothes andor sweatpants THEN come talk to me about how you never felt pretty 5 And the Subseuent Self Esteem Boosting Because Three Walking Sausages telling you you're always amazing and sexy is way cheaper than therapyJason You know it's not true Gag me 6 Beating a Dead Horse I got to hand it to LKH for her amazing ability to take a thought and absolutely wring every last ounce of meaning from it Or talking about it so long you wonder what the f# you were supposed to take from itThat was the problem with loving people It made you weak It made you need them It made the thought of not having them the worst thing in the world'It's a terrible thing to lose someone you love' I knew it for truth because I lost my mother to death when I was 8 my fiance in college to his mother's pressureThe smile that went with it was not Nathaniel's It was all mine a little bit of come hither and a little bit of threat as if to say 'If you take a bite I might bite back' It had been Jason who first explained my smile to me but it was an honest smile my life being the way it isBecause hope will keep you alive yes but it will also get you killed in ways worse than anything you can imagine Hope is a bad friend when men with guns have you But my lioness and their lions lusted after each other Lust I trusted Hope will lie to you but lust is what it is It never lies Hope would keep me hoping but lust might be a weapon7 LOLarious Bad Writing It's bad enough when LKH goes on her rambling monologues about weird sht but some of these descriptions need to be memorialized for their sheer awfulnessThey were both very powerful so it was a matter of flavor not strength I'm hoping for cinnamon flavor over spearmint to be honestSex would be the least of what we might do We might be able to sueeze a game of Parcheesi inHis hand closed over mine and it was just a hand No way I thought it was a FOOTI could feel the beat of his pulse on my tongue like candy that I wanted to lick and suck and finally bite down and let all that rich hot center burst into my mouth Life is a box of chocolatesyou never know when someone will skimp out and given you 3 year old stale chocolate 8 Using Spill for Something Not a Liuid If you are tired of reading how everything BUT water spills take heart Someone finally got LKH a thesaurus so she sometimes switches up her spill with trickleMy beast snarled at him inside my head and the sound trickled out my mouthbut his hands slipped under my skirt and I struggled out from under him spilling myself to the carpet9 Anita Acting Like a Serial Killer Because lines like the following are TOTALLY OK and not indicative of a SERIOUS problem in desperate need of therapyIt was a cold place the place I went when I killedI smiled at him able to do it because I calmed myself with images of violence10 Anita Acting Like a Monster and Everyone Chuckles Do I really need to elaborate'He would do anything you told him to do Anita He seems to have even less free will than the rest of us do''I did it on purpose Jason' This is our Heroine people a woman who took over a guy's mind made him extremely subservient against his will and has NO UALMS ABOUT IT But really this wasn't half bad There was a PLOT things HAPPENED Anita has a JOB even if she never seems to take any clients so it's unclear how she actually has any MONEY Anita raised zombies OMG a necromancer raising zombies Who woulda thunk and best of all Kimberley Alexis is back as the narrator and she's amazingI'd feel EXTREMELY cheated if I spent money on this but I got the audiobook free from the library And for the mere 4 hours of listening time it was a pleasant time waster I still wouldn't say Anita is back but at least I didn't want to hang myself by the end of the audiobook so that's a bonus