Howard the Duck Volume 0 What the Duck epub ✓ Paperback read ✓ naturaltreatment

doc Howard the Duck Volume 0 What the Duck

Howard the Duck Volume 0 What the Duck epub ✓ Paperback read ✓ naturaltreatment É Hot off the pages of thewell the post credits scene at the end of a popular movieHoward the Duck is back Join the foul mouthed fowl trapped in a world he never made but has grown accustomed to as he taBreak free Well yeah Plus Howard investigates a a senior citizens crime spree teams up with Doctor Strange for some magical antics and learns a lot about new friend Tara Tam because communication is key Plus a Secret Wars tie in Sort ofCollecting Howard the Duck 1 5 Great Funny and greatHere are three of the jokes I thought were great If these hook you in then read it1 The story involves an Infinity Gauntlet knockoff known as the Abundant Glove2 The Abundant Glove also has knockoff gems They are as followsCompassionLaughterDanceRespectA Second Dance Gem3 The case of the Heroes For Hire Against Howard's Hero For Hire Ad Campaign A lot of you probably saw Howard the Duck in the end of Guardians of the Galaxy Whether it was weirder to see a duck man or Benicio Del Toro with a weird blonde wig is debatableWhat is NOT up for debate is the weirdness of the Howard the Duck movie from the 1980's After all this Back to the Future day hubbub can we finally get back to the idea that Lea Thompson PROBABLY had sex with a duck man And can we ignore my Google habits and the fact that I know ducks have enormous corkscrew penises that are corkscrew because that way they can bypass the SECOND vaginas that lady ducks have the decoy vagina they use when they don't want to have ducklings Because that is a significant fact within movie history There was a major Marvel movie release with bestiality before there was a release with gay love I guess whether Howard is a best is up for debate You don't actually SEE the corkscrew lil' Howard Despite my NUMEROUS letters to Marvel asking for it on the DVD release Most of which went unanswered a few of which were answered RudelyBut True Believers my history with Howard my Howardstory if you will goes back even further than Lea Thompson's uestionable sexual practicesIt's the story of three brothers plus a real nerdy friend that I hadMy dad when we were kids had a shitload of comics I mean a shitload He subscribed to the monthly books the entire time I was a kid and he would read them then stack them in an entertainment center in the basement that no longer held a TV or anything like that Just comics And once me when playing hide and seek I closed myself in one of the cabinets and hid long enough that parents were driving the neighborhood to find me That's some serious hiding right there Parents got in a car I did not fuck around with hide and seekAnyway when this entertainment center wasn't hiding my body it was filled with comics The huge TV space was just stacks and stacks of comicsAnd at some point I convinced my dad to let us split up his collection Here's the breakdownMy oldest brother got The Avengers My younger brother got Iron ManMy nerd friend got Fantastic Four I guess because he happened to be there that day Not really sure how that worked out but here we are today and he has a comics room FILLED with comics I'm 100% sure he's the only one who still has the books we got that day so I feel good that they went to the right homeOh and me Let's not forget yours trulyI got a couple different things Jack of Hearts A playing card themed hero Who had an arrow that pointed at his groin I don't remember much about him and the only powers I remember are that he had an arrow pointed at his groin and no one mentioned itI also got War of the Worlds starring Killraven Who was likeConan but in the future but a post apocalyptic future Imagine Conan but instead of a big desert he's fighting shit on a collapsed Golden Gate Bridge This may have also been the beginning of my hatred for media where swords and guns are combined The fuck you guys The fuck Here's a tip If you're in a battle with a sword in one hand and a gun in the other hurl that sword into a volcano and use both hands to shoot the gun C'monFinally I got Howard the DuckMy dad's run was pretty thorough He had most of the 30 some core issues from the original series and I was introduced to uack Fu Man Thing and of course Howard's nemesis Dr Bong Who was a giant bell you dolts That Maryweed has rotted your goddamn brainsThe original run was mostly about a semi suicidal duck from a planet of duck men who found himself trapped on a planet of hairless apes He had some adventures occasionally crossed streams with Marvel regulars and mostly bumbled aroundThey were fucking great A total precursor to the slacker superhero types of the 90's but with a little heart and a little sense of humorI tried to fill in the series with the issues I was missing This was in the pre internet days youngsters and your best bets were a trip to Mile High Comics where you could pay a princely sum to get a single issue By princely I definitely mean gouging That place Such a paradise yet so gougey Or you could take your chances on a bet For example Ron who had a coin shop also had an entire basement full of comicsNo this is not a story that ends badly Go in the basement I have COMICS kids Not that Me and my aforementioned nerd buddy went into his store's basement and spent HOURS looking through piles of comics that were unsorted It was dark as the only light came from the stairwell and the store above and the comics were just piled willy nilly on the floor Willy Nilly may have also been a title I got from my dad's collection If Willy Nilly was a guy and if he sucked I definitely got itThis was the kind of work you had to do to collect comics back when It was a lot than living with the buyer's remorse You had to venture into a darkened basement sort through piles and piles of shit and then emerge suinting into the daylight only to ask How much and have this asshole open an Overstreet Price Guide For those of you who aren't familiar Overstreet was the corkscrew giant duck penis of price guides for comics It would screw you hard and in ways that were baffling and confusing and its very appearance was sickening and unnaturalRon uoted me the price for Howard the Duck #16 A book that was only inches above a cement floor moments ago a book that was in a basement uneuipped with lights a book that should have been a dollar book he told me Let's call it 899 Bastard Rat bastard That book is 799 TODAY on eBay I didn't buy it I returned it to the basement hid it somewhere in a stack Just in case I cam back some day a rich man with ALMOST ten bucks to burnNow you can buy the Essential Howard the Duck 592 pages of duck Or you can buy the Howard The Duck Omnibus which reprints the first 33 issues and some other key moments in full glorious colorPenis Arrow of Hearts didn't stick with me But Howard did So much so that when I put a comic on and I needed to rip off the cover from somewhere I knew exactly which one to pilferThere have been a few reincarnations of Howard over the years Even one by the OG Steve Gerber But it just didn't uite hit the sweet spot And finally we got it Nice work Mr Zdarsky