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FREE PDF ☆ BOOK Umbrella ↠ “A brother is as easily forgotten as an umbrella” —James Joyce UlyssesIt is 1971 and Zachary Busner is a maverick psychiatrist who has just begun working at a mental hospital in suburban north London As he tours the hospital’s wards Busner notes that some of the patients are exhibiting a very peculiar type of physical Ide an internal world The patient that most draws Busner’s interest is a certain Audrey Dearth an elderly woman born in the slums of West London in 1890 who is completely withdrawn and catatonically tics with her hands turning handles and spinning wheels in the air Busner’s investigations into the condition of Audrey and the other patients alternate with sections told from Audrey’s point of view a stream of memories of a bustling bygone Edwa If you're into stuff like this you can read the full reviewRarefied Heights Umbrella by Will SelfOriginal Review September 30th 2012And people are entertained by different things Some people are entertained by cat videos Others are entertained by football or motor racing Others are entertained by mathematical or philosophical problems Others are entertained by jigsaw puzzles or their literary euivalents Others are entertained by sophisticated use of narrative techniue Some people may be entertained by all of these they have rich mental lives with varying sources of entertainment

Will Self Ä Umbrella EBOOK

Rdian London where horse drawn carts roamed the streets In internal monologue Audrey recounts her childhood her work as a clerk in an umbrella shop her time as a factory munitionette during World War I and the very different fates of her two brothers Busner’s attempts to break through to Audrey and the other patients lead to unexpected results and in Audrey’s case discoveries about her family’s role in her illness that are shocking and tragi DNF after about ten percent of pretentious babbleUsing some of my issues with this book I have compiled the following checklistHOW TO MAKE YOUR NOVEL MORE PRETENTIOUS1 Use a thesaurus on every word Better yet use hyphens and run together words to create new meaningless balderwank see I can do it too2 French est du rigour So your main character is English No matter they should still spout French Latin mandarin and ancient atlantean Your loyal readers if they are suitably high brow will scuttle away to look up the meaning of every utterance 3 Paragraphs Page breaks and indents are for thick people who need space to digest your words instead of letting them flow over them like silky grey matter Let the winding scroll of your wordy magnum opus fly free4 The world is your amorphous oyster Fill your novel with stream of consciousness unsignposted scene changes and impenetrable description Flick uickly from the mossy agate eyes of a lover to the mossy agates of a mine in Chili to the agate moss of a sculptor in the Philippines circa 1870 no need to provide clues as to the location timing and relevance of events and scenes your reader will soak your intentions from the page5 One flew over the cawing changelings twig bound hutch Words are like musical notes use them in any way that sounds good Don't use nouns to pin down concrete sentences into well constructed prose just let the adjectives roam'The oscillating bag of bones staring into it's own pebbled forelegs scuttled like a crab' not a uote Who knows what it means Who the hell even cares 6Usesomanyellipsesitaddsdramaevenifyourcharacterssoundliketheirinnermonologuesarebeingnarratedbyanasthmatic7 Finally if you still think any meaning can be gleaned from your work thus making it entertaining and thus possibly not as great a work of literary nonsense as it could possibly be Start randomly italicising words or putting them in bold For no real reason but God it looks meaningfulNow that I'm done being facetious it remains to say only do not buy this book if you are looking for something that in anyway corresponds to the idea that a book is a sheaf of papers with words on them that create a consistent narrative that can be read and understood by the human brainIf you're looking for an exercise in pretentious cryptography look no further

PDF Ö Ä Will Self

Umbrella“A brother is as easily forgotten as an umbrella” James Joyce UlyssesIt is 1971 and Zachary Busner is a maverick psychiatrist who has just begun working at a mental hospital in suburban north London As he tours the hospital’s wards Busner notes that some of the patients are exhibiting a very peculiar type of physical tic rapid precise movements that they repeat over and over These patients do not react to outside stimuli and are trapped ins Some thoughts on my first reading Last winter I happened to read Oliver Sacks’s Awakenings see review which is the urtext for Will Self’s new novel Umbrella In the mid 60s Dr Sacks famously gave L DOPA a relatively new drug mimicking the neurotransmitter dopamine to dozens of post encephalytic patients under his care at Beth Abraham Hospital in the Bronx New York These patients had been infected in 1918 by the encephalitis lethargica virus or sleepy sickness not to be confused with the Spanish Influenza of the same year In Umbrella even where references to Sacks’s book do not appear — such as the World War I and present day sections — it's clear the good doctor's classic collection of case studies serves as the novel's insprationThose patients who survived the virus were able afterwards to lead normal lives for many years sometimes decades until they were stricken with symptoms similar to Parkinson’s disease locked postures that turned them into living statuary akinesia hurrying gait festination frozen skewed gaze oculogyyric crises and so on These patients did not have Parkinson's proper but since the virus reduced dopamine in their brains to about 10 or 15% of healthy levels they experienced identical if somewhat severe symptoms than actual Parkinson's patients The only difference being that Parkinson’s is ultimately fatal while post encephalitics “enkies” affectionately might live for the rest of their natural span with the symptoms Such is the experience of Audrey Death a main character hereSelf takes much from Awakenings that echoes the trials and tribulations of Dr Sacks’s enkies and Sacks himself and inflates it into a grand fiction resembling the inspirational text very little Here the doctor Zachary Busner a psychiatrist of Jewish birth is adrift in a vast English hospital called the Friern known for its ½ mile or so of monotonous corridors Many of the problems Sacks had in the 1960s — like pulling all the patients into a single ward studying their hyper slow movements via speeded up film dealing with a highly political hospital administration and other details — are dramatized hereThere are also large sections of entirely new invention in Umbrella In one we follow Audrey Death in her pre war family life and war time work as as a “munitionette” preparing shells for the British army We also follow two of her brothers Stanley Death a trench soldier and the soi disant Albert De'Ath who becomes a big time government honcho Stanley has an aristocratic lover Adeline who he must leave to fight in the endless and pointless war One day he is brought to live amid a society of bisexual soldiers from both sides deep under that gap between the trenches known as No Man's Land I suspect this subterranean world of tunnelers was in part inspired by Alasdair Gray's dystopic Lanark see review Audrey's other brother Albert has Asperger's and is a savant of Rain Man like propensities though much higher functioning Audrey during her pre encephalytic days was a staunch socialist while Albert was a conservative These divergent political views lead to much conflict between themWill Self is an acuired taste In the past he has regularly made fun of death and unspeakable cruelty with an almost hysterical glee His talent is certainly great It has however to my mind at times been exceeded by his ambition So that no matter how good his books are and the ones I’ve read are outstanding he nonetheless always seems to outstrip it his talent by way of a stridency of tone ambition Subtlety of tone is not in Self's gift His is always a full throttle no holds barred kind of narrative propulsion He doesn't dance elliptically around a subject but always seems to bore to its very heart This style leaves us with some very n